e noho rā Aotearoa / Goodbye New Zealand

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My family and I came to New Zealand to fulfill our dreams and to allow our children to grow up in a beautiful and safe surrounding. Therefore we gave up everything. Unfortunately someone had other plans. When I once will look back at this time what will I remember?

First of all and most important I found my way back to our Lord. Through all this suffering, He was always there for me, He gave me strength, He never let me down, He always gave me hope and He loves me with all my imperfection. And therefore I am so grateful.

What else? I have learnt a lot about what is important in life. Things that are all simple and they are for free. Probably you already know them. But transferring it from knowing into acting is something different. In my case it took a while and it needed a lot of suffering. If you haven’t tried them so far, start and see what happens. You’ll be surprised. Be patient in affliction, stay peaceful when the whole world seems to be against you, be more kind to others, smiles make others smile too, giving is better than taking, stay humble in a selfish and greedy world or just be grateful about what is God doing for us. I also put love fully into my center. Even though I was deceived, used and treated by Satan in the worst way I will never give up believing in love, because it is the answer to everything.

The hardest thing I had to learn is that you have to accept things you cannot change; sometimes you just have no control about your life anymore. You have to let go, otherwise overthinking will lead to sadness. I’d rather choose to be happy again. And the journey isn’t over yet. I still have lots to learn: being not angry about what has been done to my kids and to me is still not easy; my next and probably biggest step is to forgive and to trust again. Will I ever forget? Hopefully I can forgive someday.

One sermon by my church I will never forget. Where is the difference between a Christian who is not acting in His way and a non believer? There is non. It would be the easy way to ask why? Why did God choose me as a father and let this happen? How can somebody be so cruel and cold-hearted and do this? It would be the easy way to blame or to judge others. But this is the wrong way. He sees everything and it is only up to Him to judge. He has a plan for everyone; and this plan might be greater than you might think now. So I will put all my trust and faith in Him and will follow His way, even if it is the narrow way. I pray and I know that He will take care of my kids and family. Maybe His plan will one day lead me back to New Zealand. We’ll see. All I know is that one chapter has been closed, and another chapter opens. It is not written yet; I’ll do my very best to make it a good one.

I would like to take this opportunity also to thank all those wonderful people around the world who accompanied me through this hard time. Those wonderful people I mean know who are meant. Thank you for all of your support, your help, your prayers, your laughing, for drying my tears, for listening, for putting a smile back on my face, for your hugs, your words and your teachings – sometimes they were a slap in the face at the right time. I do believe that there is no coincidence in this life. It was destined that our journeys crossed each other. Thank you.

If I can give you just a few advices, it would be this: be you. Stay on the right path. Even if that means that people might turn their back on you. It also means the right people will support you on your way. Maybe one day you find yourself in a similar situation where you think there is no way out and you won’t survive; maybe loved ones also have hurt you, you have financial problems, someone may be sick, your dreams have been burst. Then start talking to Him and read His words. Prayers for yourself or for others can be so powerful. This changed me and in the end it saved my life. Maybe yours as well.

Last there are a few things I have to tell all Kiwis. You have such a beautiful country with so many diverse landscapes and biotopes. I first visited New Zealand seven years ago. Even within that rather short time you could see the change. This change I mean is not a good one. To be honest I was shocked at first sight; and the longer you live in this country you see all the wounds that has been done by mankind. Wounds that can clearly be seen if you walk with eyes wide open and don’t close them before reality. E.g. forests are gone or dead trees everywhere you look outside the National Parks; polluted rivers mainly caused by using poison to get rid of the predators instead of trying alternatives; increasing the conventional agriculture to satisfy basically foreign countries; selling houses and the most beautiful places to rich people who even don’t want to live here with the outcome that one day this country doesn’t belong to New Zealanders anymore; allowing rich people to get a visa straight away while honest and hardworking people who really want to make an effort and bring an advantage to this country are being sent away. Wake up. It is your country. Money’s not everything. A normal family, for example, can no longer afford to buy a house. All the tourists bringing all the needed money come to New Zealand because of the unique and amazing nature. What do you think will happen if the nature in this country will be destroyed? Some things are going wrong in this country. Some things to think about, isn’t it?!

My journey in New Zealand ends, but life goes on. All my tears won’t heal the pain, but life has to go on. After all I have found my purpose in life. I will tell everybody, who is interested, how great God is and spread His good news.

I wish you all the best for the future and I will never forget you.
We’ll see each other again – if not in this life then in our next life.
Goodbye and may God bless you.
Rene

A father’s prayer

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Oh heavenly father. Forgive me, my heavenly father, for I was wrong.
Forgive me for asking how can you allow the breakup of a precious marriage;
how can you allow the separation of a father from his kids.

This is wrong because it is not you who did it.
You are the God of Love and not of separation.
The world is ruled by Satan; so it is him to blame.
Forgive me my wrong thinking.

I always wanted to be a good father.
I wanted to show them this beautiful world.
I wanted to lead them and guide them on the right path, our Lord’s path.
This chance has been taken away from me by Satan.

I will miss holding your hands when you need it.
I will miss drying your tears when you are hurt.
I will miss giving you hugs ‘n’ kisses.
I will miss teaching you right from wrong.
I will miss seeing you growing up.
I will miss your voices calling out for ‘Papa’.
I will miss being a father for you.

Will they know how much I love them?
Oh my heavenly father please hear my endless cryings.
Send them my never ending love. Please.

If I may tell you just one wish, it would be this:
Be there for them as their heavenly father. And I know you will.
No matter what your plans are for me, be there for my kids.
Protect them, guide them, lead them and help them to stay on your path.
Let them make a difference on earth, let them shine for you.

Winters ending

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First warm sun rays bring closer season spring.
First white legs that are brave for a swim.
Wind’s thriving through the hair, goosebumps on the skin.
Winter’s still there, can you feel him?

Jandals are squeezing through the sand.
Do you want to take my hand?
The smell of fish is in the air, hear the children’s laughter?
And spring is already there, what are you running after?

Males are chasing females,
humans and birds.
Lord, thank you for the seasons,
thank you for this wonderful world.

Homeless

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What is home?
Home is where you were born they say.
Home is where your heart is they say.

But what if your heart is broken into a million pieces?
What if your beloved ones are turning their back on you?
What if all your dreams break in like a glasshouse?
Do you still belong to here? Are you homeless?

A simple and cruel ‘no’ from an immigration officer can take away all of your last hope.
No. I say. There is hope from Jesus, our Lord.
He gives hope for everyone of us.

He does not steel.
He does not lie.
He does not betray.
He does not treat you like dirt.
He does not give you false hope.
He does not rip your heart out and kick it.
He does not let you down.

He loves you with all your imperfection.
He loves you unconditionally.
No matter what circumstances occur,
no matter what people are doing to you,
He is there for you.

In my case, Jesus is my new family.
In the end it doesn’t matter where you are.
In the end I am not homeless anymore.

Wake up all you people

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Four billion people on this planet when I was born.
Seven and a half billion people nowadays.
Nine billion people is the maximum number our planet can feed –
that will be in 30 years from now on.

What then? We can’t avoid having more people.
Moving out to Mars? That is not the solution.
The Earth is the only spaceship we got.
And it is our duty to protect it.

This message goes out to everybody.
No matter if you’re rich or poor.
If we destroy our only ship,
we are going to destroy ourselves.

Something has to happen.
We need to change.
We need to wake up:
socially, mentally, ethically and environmentally.

Stop thinking only about yourself.
Stop being egoistic.
Stop thinking only about this generation.
Start living on a higher knowledge.

Start small and plant trees:
If everybody will plant and maintain at least one tree, many problems will be solved.
Use your wallet as a weapon:
Buy only green, sustainable and socially acceptable products.

Act like Paul the Apostle said it long time ago:
have a loving heart, be joyful, bring peace to each other, be patient,
be kind, be gentle and self-controlled.
Wake up – and this World will be a better place.